Mama's Manna

· Mothering,Family,Children

Much has been said about children attaching to their mothers - but there's another facet to that miracle: the mother's attaching to her child. Most mothers will tell you how unprepared they were for this mystery. They'd heard other mothers describe it but it sounded cliche - frothy sentimentality. Until it happened.

My children:

The first time you clasped my finger, you clasped my heart.

And the little tugs happened over and over. Innumerable. Like sand or stars. Underfoot and above - and running through me. Changing me. Forming me. The miraculous in the mundane. If they weren't so normal - so usual - so everyday, they would have stunned me and made life impossible. Instead, they made life tangible. Your life's work was making my life work in new rhythms - heart pulses.

  • your sleepy smile

  • your slippery body in the bath

  • you sputtering baby food

  • your hot sandy body at the beach

  • your contented little snore

  • your feverish body and flushed cheeks when ill

  • you proudly twisting out a loose tooth

  • your eyes reflecting fireworks

  • you with melty popsicle running down your front

  • your sleepy morning smile

  • your calling out in the night

  • your questions questions questions

  • your nightmare-fear screams

  • your imaginary play

  • your blanket forts

  • your reading snuggles

  • you looking at the Manger Barn

  • your kitchen help

  • your sandcastles

  • you wielding a sparkler

  • you learning to count

  • you singing the ABCs

  • you twirling your hair

  • you sucking your thumb

  • you helping with housework

  • your pretend phone calls

  • you singing

  • you learning to crawl

  • you walking toward me

  • your face lighting up when I arrive at the church nursery

  • your playdough projects

  • you dancing

  • your block towns

  • you confessing your sin

  • you with bubbles

  • you appearing at our bedside in the night

  • you looking so tiny in the dentist's chair

  • you helping me bake

  • your wispy hair

  • you scooping out a pumpkin

  • your newly buzzed haircut

  • your mosquito bites

  • you clomping in puddles

  • you dancing in snow

  • you watching an ant

  • you throwing up

  • you tucked under your quilt

  • you kneeling in prayer

  • you looking at the Christmas tree

  • you eating an apple

  • your hugs

  • you sounding out words

  • you holding a duckling

  • you wrapping Christmas gifts

  • you stirring pasta sauce

  • you decorating cookies

  • your questions

  • you painting

  • you running to me with a scraped knee

  • you telling on your sibling

  • you shaping bread dough

  • you writing your name

  • you arguing

  • you asking about the moon

  • you learning to drive a car

  • you tossing up leaves

  • you watching Jungle Book, and The Grinch, and Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings

  • you holding a caterpillar

  • you harvesting a tomato

  • your bad dreams

  • you digging through the Lego bin

  • you chatting on the phone

  • you splashing in the bath

  • you catching a butterfly

  • you learning to trike

  • your teenage angst

  • you running to us in a storm

  • you biking away from me

The moments were like manna … they fed me and then dissolved. Daily food from God to energize me. Even when I didn't notice. Even when I couldn't take in all the momentary wonder.

Look what you did to me, my children! You shaped me. You stirred me. You were taught me a new language: unspoken - often unintelligible. But it voiced the lyrics of my heart.


Your Mom.

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